Dale Carnegie - "How to Win Friends and Influence People": Day 3

You've heard of Dale Carnegie, right?
The author of the best-selling book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People"?
If you haven't read the book yet, go grab a copy now!


Fortunately for me, Dale Carnegie Training Hong Kong was hosting a seminar at HKUST called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People in Business'. I was an audience member.




Hi. I want a Job.
Last year, I walked into Dale Carnegie Training HK buildings with a bold plan in mind. I wanted to work with them as a public speaking trainer. I had absolutely no contacts there - and hadn't even made an appointment, so my visit was a surprise to them. They were, nonetheless, very nice, but I didn't hear from them again...


Today, at the seminar, I ran into the Human Resources Manager who immediately recognized me. She introduced me to the boss of the company and several of her colleagues and we started chatting about my prospects of interning there...


By the end of the conversation, I'd walked away with the boss's contact details and an offer to meet up for coffee.


Insight 1

• Networking is very important! Your networks introduce you to important opportunities...
• To increase your networks, attend seminars, talks, hiking groups...
• A quick conversation with someone today might not mean a lot, but when you run into them next time, they'll probably remember you and you'll be able to start a conversation much quicker

Can I Borrow a Pen - and a Piece of Paper Too?
After I sat down, I realized that I'd forgotten my pen - and hadn't brought along any paper to take notes. So I turned to the girl sitting next to me and asked:


"Hi. Could I borrow a pen? And some paper too?"
She was happy to do so.
"Hi. I'm Akash"
She introduced herself as Belle and we started talking. Belle is a friendly, first year student at HKUST, and we kicked it off pretty quickly by sharing some inside jokes about the irony of making a new friend at a seminar on friendship.


Insight 2:

• Ask for help! If you don't have a pen, ask for someone to lend you one. If you don't have a watch, ask for someone to tell you the time. They'll rarely refuse, as long as it's a reasonable request. Asking for help is great icebreaker 

Dinner?
At the end of the seminar, I stayed behind to chat to the Dale Carnegie employees and mingle about more. More contact details, a few more coffee reservations...


Dinner was shared with two other friends whom I rarely run into (Daniel and German), but we were able to connect by talking about things we had in common - midterms, internships, future job prospects...


Insight 3:

• You connect by talking about things you have in common

Making Friends: The 365 Friends Project

• Why is it that we Click with some people, and not with others?

• Why is that we like one person, and not another?

• What is it about some people that causes us to immediately feel comfortable with them?

365 Friends Project

A Little Background about the Project
I am passionate about communication. I spend most of time reading books about communication skills, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. I even write a widely-read blog, which you can read here [www.public-speaking-hong-kong.blogspot.com]

I am curious about why some people seem to immediately click with others (even with people whom they're just meeting for the first time) while most of struggle to get beyond a casual, "How are you doing?" 


My aim with the project over the next 365 days is to talk to 365 people [mostly complete strangers, and a few casual acquaintances] and try and establish rapport with them. You could consider this a personal experiment to figure out how to break the ice and start building a relationship with others - all within a matter of minutes.




What You Can Expect from the Project
Everyday, I'll strike up conversation with one complete stranger. You can read about the ice-breaking strategies I use and whether or not they work. You can read about how quickly we manage to achieve rapport - whether we 'click' - and gain my insights into why or why not. You can sign up to receive updates about this project by entering your email address in the box at the top right hand corner of this page. See what works, see what doesn't. Gain insight into how to connect with people. Humor yourself by watching me try and strike up conversation with 365 complete strangers.